i should be feeling like a champ tonight after playing raquet ball and swimming in my bi weekly ritual with my fellow immate. i am trying to be productive but today felt like a lost cause. the feeling actually goes back a number of weeks because i don’t know how to judge progress anymore these days. the mountain of things to do seem so big that the bits and pieces i do daily doesn’t do much. anyway, i need a break from my work/play routine in genearl and i am looking foward to my retreat at the […]

so apparently, there are a number of people out that think we’re a punch of wealthy dot com kids after 2 years of being in the business. they see because we’ve grown to 5 full time people and that we’re usually pretty busy shooting events/weddings that we must be making bank! case in point, i was talking to this VC client and he’s asking me, ‘aren’t you rich yet?’. implying why am i still working and shooting these types of events. well, i am not going to go through all the reasons why we’re strapped for cash […]

i understand why most senstive man to ever work for the biggest porn shop in paris can have the audicity to fly to 5 different cities in europe and america to just see a band. just a band is like saying sex is only a three letter word. the vulerbility of this man child woman singer is quite devastating to the emotional man. in his voice you can hear the strength of man, the tenderest of woman, and the hope of a child. i daresay is the man equilvent of liz fraser of the all time holiest […]

feeling a serious lack of creative juices of late. maybe it started after the whole sf faces show but getting back into the business of photography has diluted my passion of meaningful photography. most of the photography i do these days have very little connection to my personal values. from models to happy people getting married, i can’t really connect with it on a level to feel inspire about capturing it. i am beginning to feel that my deferrment of photography as a personal exploration will suffer as i get more caught in the business aspect of […]

i was just very angry with my business partner. I yelled, insulted and was just plain bitter with him for over an hour. i hadn’t been this angry since i exploded the time she accused me of looking at a model the wrong way. iconically, i warned him not to talk with me because i was vengeful and then i still proceed to give him an earful. part of me knew that my venting was mostly useless because i was stressed out and bitter. i never feel good about exploding because even when i win th arguement, […]