i should be feeling like a champ tonight after playing raquet ball and swimming in my bi weekly ritual with my fellow immate. i am trying to be productive but today felt like a lost cause. the feeling actually goes back a number of weeks because i don’t know how to judge progress anymore these days. the mountain of things to do seem so big that the bits and pieces i do daily doesn’t do much. anyway, i need a break from my work/play routine in genearl and i am looking foward to my retreat at the end of the month.
i watch a bit of whale rider again today and that got me all tearily eye because it remains me too much of her. of new zealand and the way she says ‘true’ and ‘aye’ in every other sentence. i am being wino silly at the moment but since i can’t code in the abstract, i need to express the emotes. I had some wine with my big chicken dinner tonight. it was nice to chat with a woman over dinner and some wine but it was kinda funny just talking business shit. anyway, my arms are sore from the swimming today but i had a sense of determination when i was swimming today. because i suck so much at swimming, i figured i would begin to tackle that fear today. and now my arms are sore and my mind is retarded and i will forget that i was determine to do something the next day.