i didn’t want to write down that what happen last night was something special. by denying that i am not investing emotional bondage to fruition of such idea. but regardless if i buy into it or not; i will still express down the joy of synchronicity. i was just thinking about all my past relationships and i was wondering to myself was any of them born of concept of synchronicity. it seems weird but i feel like that more of my experiences will be in a fruition/synchronicity format. it’s like you gain enough experience points and now […]

i am almost a great photographer, almost this and almost that. close to being interesting but not quite ever ambitious to be in the hard work and discipline to be great at whatever. if i can accept that i will be home. been a b+ most of my life i guess. not really hard surprising in most respectives. it’s definitely effort for the most part that sperates these levels. yet my ego still reeks of grandeur of my almost status, as if to mock the As for trying to hard in the game of illusion but not […]

what i must do this year. if i am to transform and bring together all of my latent desires into reality, i must take my sabbitical and go deeper than i have ever gone. to find the discipline to break free from my old self. to find the courage and power to sustain that. the perfect storm is brewing.

i’ve envision what i want my life to look like 30 years from now but the next 5 years is next so clear. i know enough that i need to end this previous chapter of such lopsided left […]

Love hunt me down
I can’t stand to be so dead behind the eyes
And feed me spark me up
A creature in my blood stream choose me up

So I can feel something
So I can feel something

Give me touch
‘Cause I’ve been missing it
I’m dreaming of
Strangers
Kissing me in the night
Just so I
Just so I

Can feel something
Can feel something
Can feel something
Can feel something

You steal me away
With your eyes and with your mouth
And just take me back to in your house
And stare at me with the lights off

To feel something
To feel something
To feel something
To feel something

In the night
In the night
In the […]

i think for the longest time, since my early teenage years, i’ve been yearning to come to a ‘home’ called being myself. our being in ‘family’ where the self feels most at ease/natural. for many years, i’ve taken the most lone road outsider. in high school, the odd asian kid with mostly white friends and even in that circle being the odd kid that didn’t fit into any one circle. the underachiever in a class room of over achievers, the under athlete in a room of testosterone. these things are you’re not aware at at those ages, […]