sometimes i wonder i believe in myself too much. i don’t really think about it too often but i do take the occasion mental pause to consider the what if. what if i was wrong and my vision for the business was simply nothing more than a pipe dream. in some regards, every day that we survive, it seems less as a pipe dream but at the same time i don’t that much more confident now than 4 years ago. the main factor that eats aways away at the confidendance is the simple fact that we are […]

tonight, i solved the final piece in the equation for total departure sequence. no longer do i have to be bound by the phyiscal limits of a Local Area Network. it sounds terrible stupid, but in the same way, all the purging i am going throw is also part of my process to disengage from this overly gorgeous dream that i experience on a daily basis. naturally, any man of reputable worth does not the need likes of technological wonders for him to keep him bind into two opposing worlds but like many cowards before me, i […]

i had the wonderful pleasure of being humble this morning. it started with a flat tire the day of “xmas” and i was supoose to be a shoot down in sunnyvale in about an hour. and i called up a friend and he saved my ass by lending me his car. how quickly my karma turn around with that last act. anyway, i arrive at my photo shoot and i am slightly embrassed that i am at a kid’s 3rd birthday. not that it surprised me or anything, but i think it finally dawn on me that […]

sometimes i successfully deny that i have too much ‘work’ to do by taking vacations or throwing a party. but that state of denial comes crashing down all too quickly as i try to ‘catch’ up on so many different parts of the business. from the repetitive photo processing to the overdue credit statements, there’s a lot of grind that takes it toll on my style of working. if it hasn’t been evident enough, i tend to get bored by repetitive activities and the only saving grace is the perspective that it’s meditation in action. which is […]

it gets lonely in the studio after 7pm. on most nights, it’s me and my two roommates banging out the next great milestone. but lately, it’s mostly been me, with the music very loud. it keeps the lonelyiness at bay although there isn’t really any time to feel the lonelyiness. between all the gear shifting, from photo processing, to coding, to IT trouble shooting, to thinking about all the things I want to do after all the daily grind is ‘complete’. part of my movivation to push myself is to reach a business level where i can […]