_the gross level of desire _the hiddern levels of desire _the desire of the unthinkable _the antidote to all three i couldn’t find a particular good photo from that night to represent the desire of the unthinkable. but then again, there are very few photos of the unthinkable in general. the last unthinkable has not been in her pastel in over a month, so most hope has gone but i somehow found more movivation to go to yoga on a regular basis. i was suppose to lose interest in going to yoga to reflect my shallow nature […]

there are many times a day when i ask myself why am i doing this. this is especially poigant point when i am in IT hell and doing low level tech support. whether i am configuring the latest web hardware or debugging my half baked code, the sense of purpose is readily at the back of my mind. it’s quite important that i remind myself why i am doing all the things that seemingly get me further from what i should be doing. has it been declared that i view this part of my life as college […]

there will come a time again when i am not so dismissive of the concept. and i hope i have an opportunity to return to this post during those times. the will be yet another time when i will believe everything will be not just alright, but exceedingly bright. when i will cry my fullest and laugh my loudest again. but these days are not mark by anything significant but the toils of a promoised land. in failure or success, the toil will bring about irrersviable change. but for this present moment, let me comptemplate on the […]

let’s pretend i am not drunk for once while i entertain my thoughts. it would only seem that during momement of my non soberity that i have the time and inclinition to express my fragmented state of mind. first off, it seems like burnt rotten rice in my house, it makes me want to throw up but the stench is so strong that there isn’t some space left for my own expenditures. setting that aside, there are two things that have been readily apparent in my life. we are qausi concern that we’re about to acquire a […]

i don’t know at what point one becomes a subscriber to a certain style of practice. in buddhism, you got your zen monkeys and you got your tibetan gorrilla styles. in yoga, there’s the hold it until perfection (count to 30 and but start over every 5 count) and then there’s the flow like the sea and drink like the ocean styles. i hadn’t really plan on finding a style that i should follow and so for a while it was whatever was convienent and whatever teacher was pleasant enough or pushed my buttons. i was talking […]