_the gross level of desire
_the hiddern levels of desire
_the desire of the unthinkable
_the antidote to all three
i couldn’t find a particular good photo from that night to represent the desire of the unthinkable. but then again, there are very few photos of the unthinkable in general. the last unthinkable has not been in her pastel in over a month, so most hope has gone but i somehow found more movivation to go to yoga on a regular basis. i was suppose to lose interest in going to yoga to reflect my shallow nature but alas, i have pass beyond the shallow depths of the river of desire into the ocean of devotation. interestingly enough, the theme of this past month’s yoga class has been devoutation and it seems bizarrely approriate for me right now. some may say that i am obsessed with orange but others may call it devotation. what is the difference i ask? well, i know the answer to that silly question and it’s made itself clear whenever i am given the opportunity to prove my devotation otherwise. case in point, on thrusday night, i went to an cd release party and i was given ample opportunity drop the art talk and flirt with subject of hidden desires. but as one recently wised artist said to me, if you’re going to give it another chance, you better go 100%. and then immediately, i knew i didn’t have 10% in my bones and so i squander my energy on talk and drinks with three married men. it keeps me safe being around the likes of married men but i don’t think being around my single friends is any more entertaining. i find the whole ritul of the mating game tiresome at worse but most comical at best. and so, i come back to the subject of the facets of desire and why an attitude of devotation is approriate in my context. i like the term devotation because it’s so beyond committment but people like to say that men of my character are afraid of committment. i say horseshit because if something is worthy, then those arguements are tenuous. so what is this devotational aspect that i keep on misspelling about? let’s just say it’s a very concentrate direction. one that becomes increasingly clearer as the devotation becomes deeper. that is all i can say for now but meanwhile, i still have to deal with my three basic levels of desire. these days, the unthinkable is the most entertaining because it’s the closest to the antidode. the unthinkable has that wonderful attribute where the mere thought and glimpse of it is sufficient to sustain a life without it. it’s the most efficient in thoughts per temporary insanity eruptions. but all three have thier respective roles in this urban treadmill.