June 2006
the danger zone
[[[ wow this is a powerful quote; this first part "If we do not uncover [our] problems--and I saw this in myself--we risk placing a veneer of spirituality over deeply buried emotional wounds from childhood that do not simply go away." somehow makes me think of cynthia and discussions of her spirituallity and spiritual path; the rest powerfully puts into words the sentiment of confusion or unclarity around spirituality and the meaning of life and self dilusion and denial that i think i have touched on in conversations with you before. anyway, this is very thought provoking ]]]
i am bad
bad english. bad communication. bad leader. thank goodness i will be retiring from this life for trying to be good. will there be days when you actually are worse than the shit that you think you are. that’s putting it rather incompletely and unflattering. it does make me want to give up sometimes. to realize how much effort it takes to be just bad. you would like to think that people appreciate it but at the end, like the good parent that has spoiled their kids, you will just hang you head and ask was it all […]
crossing paths
got a strange email from an anonymous user on myspace and they mention something that confirm they true nature. the email was from an old friend of my from my first dot com job back in 96. in some regards she was the first ‘city’ friend that i still maintain contact with now and then. we had our ups and downs as friends, which is a noticeable pattern in my most of my friendships. anyway, it’s one of those friends that you always make time to see because the farther away from the point of origination, the […]
advice
it seems to happen enough for me to question the soundness of my opinion. sometimes i think i am full of shit and i want my friends to call me on it but it doesn’t seem to be the case. from my point of view, i seem to have a lot quite strong opinions on matters by which i have little experience with. sometimes i feel a slight pang of regret after advising my friends on these subject matters but it goes away pretty quickly. at the end of the day, i don’t think i am really […]
the weight of choice
in the past month, i’ve come to a conclusion that will save myself and hopefully take the company to the next level. although i don’t know if it will actually pan out, considering the challenage of finding someone approraite to ‘replace’ me as the head cheese, i am very much embracing the idea on numerous levels. i think after watching the power of myth, it became apparent that i wasn’t following my bliss. it’s not so black and white because as i still have the problem with the concept that is it the ego that is following […]
May 2006
stages of beauty
i thought this was going to be one of my ‘better’ weddings, gorgeous bride, super lush venue and really nice weather. but it’s those expectations that will invariably cause disappointment because the flow of a photojournalistic style doesn’t always lend itself to take advantage of such opportunities. considerable direction is need to create those extraordinary images that align [...]
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