which rabbit hole will i go down? into light of emptiness or into the darkness of orange? after much good food and 3 easy drinks in front of gorgeous bartender, my cohort and i somehow distilled my essential issue in layman’s tongue. i am an unexpected father and that is why i am caught in the tension of fatherhood versus the wanderer. it may not be a 7 year itch but it feels like a 4 year disease. naturally, i can’t really complain about anything in myself because i would be a most ungrateful bastard if i […]

i don’t know how long one can go on doing the one hand head stand but it get tiresome at some point. it seems that i am unlike most men but maybe i am actually more alike than i think but regardless without my yogic positioning and sweat inducing games, i would get very serious DSB before i can say some long word that i can’t pronounce. i am entertaining myself by browsing the personals on nerve, my current fave website since i discovered it one lonely night while talking to secrets agents from the netherlands. but […]

i don’t know how i got on the particular thread but i think it came from looking at a couple of portfolios on alt.pick. one lead to another and i am knee deep in very interesting photography. the serious fun stuff that makes me think and kick myself in the ass for not making myself think hard enough. there are times i feel very frustrated in the role that i have postion myself to be in and wonder of the opportunity cost of being comfortable. after seeing other people work, i am more annoyed with myself because […]

i finally got the chance to watch an apparently 80’s masterpiece movie, “the drugstore cowboy.” i think my favorite part in the movie was seeing william s burroughs play the old time junkie. i can definitely identify with these characters but obviously, i have to yet to hit rock bottom. shallow as my “bottom” may seem from this high chair, i understand the philosophy disgust that is an undertone in all of this. drugs expands the mind and even if you don’t become addict to it, it demands a little space in the dark part of your […]

to say that i am slightly bitter towards the opposite sex at this moment in time would be a fair assestment of my state of opinion. it seems that there are a number of confounding factors that would extentuate my state. it seems that i have develop too intimate of relationship with a number of my female employeees and it would seem that i am in a state of seemingly delicate relationship with them. it’s not so easy for me to simply a boss but then again, it’s never been a position that i have enjoyed. obviously […]