i had a very interesting conversation with the crazy lord last night. although i was explicitly told not to talk about the contents of my retreat, i ended spilling the essence of the “secret” learning to the man. luckily, he already knew what the hell i was talking about but he simply referred to it as ‘the void’. in buddhist circles, it’s sometimes referred to as ’emptiness’, ‘rigpa’ or ‘the lumonsity” or even the ‘primodial wisdom’. it would be fruitless for me to explain the concept but it’s largely a non conceptual expererience. But once you’ve experience […]

_rincophe. as real and lovable as it gets. sorta like a young chinese santa clause. simply brilliant and cool. words can’t describe it and feelings only get in the way. after 10 days of a dzogchen retreat with one of the most amazing teachers i’ve witness, i am born again with an appreciation and devotion for all the glory that is the path. i had to drag myself to the retreat and i had to drag myself away from the retreat. it’s a sign of something. anyway, i am still decompressing from the experience and i am […]

in tibetan buddhism, the Great Fifth refers to the 5th dalai lama, a great among spiritual giants. for untold reasons, my deep interest has return to the study of the masters of the mind. so, i picked up the book on the history of all 14 dalai lamas a couple of nights ago and on saturday night i pore over the poety of the Great Fifth. even as my body is sorely aching from a brutal brikam yoga class, i am enthrall in the truth and beauty that i read before me. granted, i had reach a […]

so i am going to you let you into a deep secret corner of my existence. as if the degree of entertainment here wasn’t blatantly slapstick enough. i wonder sometimes why i open myself up so much in my own therpay sessions but i know partly why. it’s for myself not for you. when i read it 20 years from now, i hope to be able to gauge the level of my growth. writing as a record of personal exploration is the essence of this diary. there are a few friends that have known me for a […]

and so i stated that i studied economics in college but really what did i learn at my last days of so call formal education. i already knew that the sort of education i was getting was pointless beyond the confines of conversations and reference checks. i suspect i would have no use for the degree but really what i do realize that now that the degree in economics did reflect thought process. i usually joke to people that i only reason that i majored in economics was that i couldn’t be bother to try hard enough […]