i think for the longest time, since my early teenage years, i’ve been yearning to come to a ‘home’ called being myself. our being in ‘family’ where the self feels most at ease/natural. for many years, i’ve taken the most lone road outsider. in high school, the odd asian kid with mostly white friends and even in that circle being the odd kid that didn’t fit into any one circle. the underachiever in a class room of over achievers, the under athlete in a room of testosterone. these things are you’re not aware at at those ages, […]

“All music is what awakes from you when you are reminded by the instruments… Happiness, knowledge, not in another place, but this place — not another hour, but this hour.” — Walt Whitman

i am staying with one of my oldest college buddies in austin these past several days. we’ve had a wonderful time catching up and talking about the bigger questions that the mid life crisis brings about. he just joined the fatherhood club and i am sure he is going to be an awesome dad. i told him of my own insecurities about being a father since i’ve had just poor role models and having severed from a marriage so early in my daughter’s life. i am sure it’s all going to be fine in the long run […]

i decided to delete my account tonight. as part of my ongoing effort to reinvent myself this year, i wanted to shed away my past. not to suggest that i won’t ever have a fb account again but it will be different incarnation. i had previously shed about 300 people of the friends list and even then, i was still found myself hiding people’s broadcast. sadly, 97% of the stuff is just noise and hearing family gossip through fb, well, i think there was a reason i moved 3000 miles from everyone. if people want to […]

i forgot who i was talking to exactly but i was telling about my photographic memory and history. for the most part, i am not particular proud of my ability to remember things. sometimes i think it’s because i look forward too much so i don’t use the muscle of memory and it remains weaken like a malnourished child. even though i’ve been an ‘active’ photographer for the past 10 years, most of my professional work is as forgettable as chemistry in high school. often i think no matter what the work, some boring corporate event or […]