December 2004
100 black men and one asian baby
in a single night, i experience the full gamut of my meaningless photography career.
milestone 1.0
_the return of the party _better than buying a house we’re so close to the next level, that i can taste the blood in my mouth. after 3 years of double duty and destructive relationships, we’re about to experience the power and meaning of space. on a professional and personal level, i’ve been looking forward to this milestone on so many levels. i don’t want to sit in front of a computer in my place of refuge (or lack of for) anymore. it’s really fucks with my head that i slide into my executive chair in my […]
failure is success
it’s difficult to phantom that such an attitude can exist but it seems rather prevalvant to people that can even think on that level. it would seem also like a low self esteem issue that i sabtoage my own success because that level of achievement would result in the corruption of the movitation. any persons that question the basis of normal constructs in the meduim of thier expression would have to confront this issue at some point. it’s easy to accept that success is simply a valiation of that that conceptual risk that manifests but at what […]
desire and dharma
this poem by the sixth is partcularity revelvant to my life. not that i am comparing myself to such greatness but the tension between desire and non attachment is mind blowing sometimes. a friend describe my aversion towards woman as also monk like, a joke but alas partly true. that girl who’s stolen my mind – if we could be together forever – like the joy of finding a jewel deep in the depths of the sea. white teeth smiling. brightness of skin. on my seat in the high lama’s row at the quick edge of my […]
funny moments in IM
pig72: i am going to invite her to the party in the next week or so vann : and that lasts you all week pig72: yup pig72: that’s all i need pig72: 5 mins vann : damn vann : i lust vicariously thru your lust pig72: it feels nice to not have it for some reason pig72: it spoils the desire pig72: so pure and strong
November 2004
there is another hope.
_this is the hope you know. this is what she sounds like. soft sweet and tender and like the other hope that happens to look like her.
ladies at work
so in the past year, i have caused a couple of employees to break down and cry because of their job performance. sometimes i feel like shit because i have to play the role of demanding better performance from the people that work for orange. given the uncorporate nature of the orginzation, i think people don’t take directives as seriously if they were in other business originzation. i mean it’s hard to take me seriously when i joke about being their janitor and boss. it’s an intentional loose environment that has been created but in light of […]
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