in the face of addiction, sometimes one must go cold turkey to reset the system. i’ve decided to try a new experiment in self discipline in fasting from substance enjoyment for the next 40 days. apparently, the good christians do this on an annual basis so it’s no big deal but it will be my first. actually, i need to corrindate this with a food fast sometime in the next 40 days as well so that the system gets a real nice reset. the ironic thing is that most days, i don’t even have my first bite to eat into 2 or 3pm so it shouldn’t be too bad for the first couple of days. it’s always tough and probably even tougher in the winter but i’ve been so degenerate in my habits. even though i got wait listed for my 7 day thanksgiving retreat, i luckily found another retreat next week that is even better! it’s a yoga/meditition combo meal so i should get some nice bang for the buck. i come to realize that my attention span has diminsh so incredibly that i can barely reach a paragraph from a book before i get “bored”. it may be a condition constantly being in front of two big ass monitors on a daily basis that had fried some of those attention focusing cells. even when i go to yoga and find some reprise from the mental tension of endless thinking, i know all too well that i will so easily reinserted the beautiful prison of my own making. hence, why would i ever want to break out of a prison that i am totally responsible for?
i find out two more interesting tidbits this week that has added more fuel to my own fire. one, bruce lee died when he was 33 and two, david lynch meditates twice a day! first off, bruce being the most ideal asian idol one can have in the western hemisphere, i am amazed by his level of accomplished before his passing. and more importantly, when a modern master such as lynch preaches the benefits of regular meditation to his art, i am even more movivated to restart that long lost practice. if i were to be a bit more critical on movativation, i know that i couldn’t use a movivation of selfish means to achieve clarity but for now, i need every ounce of movivation to get me out of my groove.