a word of advice to myself, don’t ever talk about relationship stuff on email. serious conversation requires so much more observation and non verbal cues that in a meduim such as email and Instant messaging is lost. but the point of the lesson is if you want to be a chicken about communication, then use IM and email to say shit that lacks any emotional appeal. Just imagaine how easy it is to break up with someone when you just have to type like that you’re coding your website. Communication is a limited tool to begin with and when you use a limited meduim, you’re bound to be doubly screwed. I guess for a geek like me, i need the visceral drama of physical interaction to be passionate. i’ve been condition to be detached to the matrix of computer systems so trying to deal with emotional issues in this system of interface is like smelling a stratch and sniff.


so, i am suppose to feel like a sucker because as much as she so call loves me, she can’t be bother to talk about issues like an adult. my power of persudusion and logic is so overwelming that she doesn’t want to talk about anything. her decision has been made and she just wants to inform me of such a decision. And of course, i am playing my buddhist tunes and I say sure, whatever, i am not going to make a big deal out of it. naturally, that just makes it worse because woman want to be able to push your buttons and get their way. so since those types of trick don’t work on me, it’s going to be fruitless in really getting what you want in a relatioinship. ah, nothing like logic that defies the crux of existence.