i should be asleep but my mind is still in bit of a shock. in shock because i don’t want to just ignore that fact that it does mean a lot to me that things have turn out the way they have. even now, i am still hoping for the best but sorta expect the worse. i am okay with not seeing her for 2 or 3 months but more than that i am going to begin really itch. i know i am going just start working like a dog and drive through it. make it a constructive productive time. still, i know it’s not the where i want to be. working/playing/creating for 12 hours a day. when there is not commute time and leaisure time is shifting gear into some other work thing, than it get dangerous.
so i let myself have big party this past weekend before she came back and did i pay the price. i was up to 6am conversing with a friend about the finer points of buddhism and art. it’s a great discussion when you can still up with a friend that you’re not cuddling with to see the sun rise. but unfortunately, i finished half a bottle of bowmore and my head made in pay. i got up at 3pm and didn’t remember if i was striaght or not. luckily a friend called me up and asked if i want to run but i suggest a walk on crissy field would be more better for my state of mind. she reminded me that i was striaght and the day came out much better than i expected.
_the only picture i took at platform
.