in the dream life, i wouldn’t stumble upon two of my ex girlfriends on nerve. in that life, the remains of the last one wouldn’t be in my closet. in that life, i would also want to jump from my towers of fear and face the real life. in this life, i wonder which is worse: dying old alone or believing that finding the one will make laugh louder. so, i briefly encountered a wonderful little book by rilke entitled ‘letters to a young poet.’ in so much that the elder rilke is writing to his younger […]

i saw one hour photo earlier tonight and i think it sorta put me in the down mood. i feel very much like robin williams looking into the lives of others through the camera. like i have no experience worth photographing for myself but i will galdly photograph your happy moments if you pay me. yeah, that’s pretty cynical and all but even when i do my own photography, it’s not about me having fun and living life. it’s a weird observance of the world in a uncomfortable detached way. as if i don’t really want to […]

which rabbit hole will i go down? into light of emptiness or into the darkness of orange? after much good food and 3 easy drinks in front of gorgeous bartender, my cohort and i somehow distilled my essential issue in layman’s tongue. i am an unexpected father and that is why i am caught in the tension of fatherhood versus the wanderer. it may not be a 7 year itch but it feels like a 4 year disease. naturally, i can’t really complain about anything in myself because i would be a most ungrateful bastard if i […]