i picked up a couple of books last month at borders and it’s a month later and i’ve cracked about 10 pages. it’s quite sad really because i get so much out of reading and yet i can’t ‘afford’ to find time. it’s definitely something i miss dearly and it because it’s not so easily consumable as music, it’s one of my great joys that will have to be scarfice in this time of intensity. anyway, i discovered the cliff notes of the book that i was meant to read in my 10 mins of spare cycle before i pass out. a college professor’s notes on Schopenhauer’s The World as Will and Representation was particularly helpful in reigniting my interest in the book. although i had only read a few pages at borders, i found the style and nature of the content interesting enough to buy on the spot. i hadn’t really heard of him nor realized how much of a connection it had with buddhism, but as it turns out there are a lot of references’ to buddha’s teaching. so it would seem that i am drawn into this phiolosphy no matter how its dressed.

obviously, the antidote that Schopenhauer prescribes is on the same level of what the high monkey monk aspires to but lacks the chungas to execute. actually, it’s more disciple than fear. i’ve always been weak on the disciple side. i remember the old days when i was lay in bed until it too late to catch the school bus. naturally, it would take me twice as long to get public transportation to get to school but that it was the seeds of a weak constitution for disciplne. or was it the seed of apathy within the framework of an almost meaningless instution such as formal education as a means to be a productive member of society. i can’t give myself that much credit but the seeds of this paths in this life must be planted at some point. maybe it was when father left for his pilrimage as the full plantation of the seed.