i took uma and jonsi on a hike today up near the chabot space center. i was hesitant to do it considering i hadn’t carried uma on my back in over a year. i think the last time i used the baby carrier was when we were at grover hot springs. the hike didn’t start out too well as i got there around noon and it was beginning to get really hot. uma wasn’t having any of it as she started crying because the sun hat was too hot and the straps were too tight on her. […]

i read a some buddhist text last night and for the longest time, i’ve avoided reading spiritual books in general. i felt such a great disparity between my current reality and the aspirations of the text. so after reading last night, i am reminded that my strategy deferment is fundamentally flawed. meanwhile, i am starting up the story in my head that i am entering my 40th year of existence and i feel like i am way behind on ‘achievements’. In my head, there is a stage of contentment fulfilling achievement that will allow me the time […]

first, i need to feed my mind with more nutritious material. even though i have cut down the amount of meaningless crap that i read, it’s still meaningless, even though applicable in different contexts. if i am to access my higher self, i need to start with the mind. next, is to build the ‘base’ for meditation. i am reading a book on running and mediation and there’s a great analogy on building the base to get deeper into both practices. i’ve been running for over 3 years now so i think the base is there for […]