i took uma and jonsi on a hike today up near the chabot space center. i was hesitant to do it considering i hadn’t carried uma on my back in over a year. i think the last time i used the baby carrier was when we were at grover hot springs. the hike didn’t start out too well as i got there around noon and it was beginning to get really hot. uma wasn’t having any of it as she started crying because the sun hat was too hot and the straps were too tight on her. within 20 mins of the hike, i thought about giving up and just returning to the car. it’s these types of experiences that remind me of the real challenges of being a single dad. it’s such a full on experience when she’s with me, there’s no breaks, except for the afternoon naps! amazingly enough, the time i do spent with her still goes by pretty fast so i am always reminding myself to be more present than i usually am. i am sadden by the fact that i am only part of her life half of the time. this fact is a bitter pill for me. still, i make the best i can of it. all the activities that i do with her like soccer, swimming and taking our evening works are the most precious moments. anyway, one day, i will write a letter to my daughter and tell her how much she has changed my life.
for now, let’s just say the hike did get better. even though i had to carry her in my arms for part of the way, she ended up settling down and we began to enjoy nature. i know this is something that i want to have her appreciate as much as possible. being outside and enjoying nature, so i hope this will be one of the many small adventures that we have out in nature. the only minor issue after the 3 mile hike was jonsi tracking a lot of mud on his fat ass.