it was super nice to witness her going to holding on to my leg ever so tightly to dad, leave me alone. all within an hour, i saw how fear transformed into joy. i hope i was able to help that transformation!
I’ve been making more of an effort to enjoy the nightlife in oakland. Even though i’ve been here for over 2 years now, the exploration of oakland life has been very minimal. anyway, i took uma to the autumn festival of lights and we had a darling time.
i got the chance to return to phillly for work and i decided to take uma with me on this trip. i hadn’t been back to the east coast in the spring in a long time, so the weather was quite pleasant but it didn’t make a dent my desire to return here. undoubtedly, the ONLY reason i would come back is to be with my extended family, which for all the quirkiness of extended family, it has major appeal. i mean if i did come back once a year, it would be pretty nice to see everyone on a more regular basis. it’s nice for uma to know that she has a very big extended family compared to just me and her in the bay area. funny enough, i miss the family drama that plays out. more importantly, i wish uma could enjoy her childhood with brothers/cousins her age. i think that’s what childhood more memorable for me. uma will experience much of a only child up bringing for the most part. even if i did get remarried and had another child, she will be much older than her sibling already. one interesting insight from this trip is seeing uma around the other kids are age. although i get it that she is on her best behavior because she’s not at home but she is surprisingly well behaved and polite around everyone. i am feeling very proud of my daughter to say the least. i am feeling slightly validated in the way that i am raising her. although i suspect that i shouldn’t get all too proud until her mid twenties when all the parenting influence takes it final form. for the most part, i am going to try to raise her with the basic premise of what can i learn from these experiences. whether it was good or bad, as long she continues to ask the right questions and push herself to grow, i will feel that i have done my job well.
it’s funny watching her play soccer. recently she started playing soccer in a more ‘formal’ setting, uniforms and all, and it’s so interesting seeing how her personality plays out in the field. already i see that’s she’s very cautious in general. maybe it’s a girl thing but i notice a big difference when is is around saya and she how confident saya is downing new and daring things. somehow my daughter has learn to be fearful of new things as she’s got hurt enough doing new things. anyway, it will be interesting as she gets more confidence in life and see the evolution from it all away back to these moments in time.
one day i would like to do a flower studies photography project in a studio environment but for now, the occasion shoot in the wild will suffice.