vision quest

i am suppose to write a statement of intent as part of my vision quest participation and there have been some themes floating around in my head. for now, the most obvious theme is about being in relationship and my struggle around if i really want it or not. with all failed attempts these past years, i am really tired of the concept. i compared my state of being in my early thirties when i was in similar situation and working alot because i didn’t have much else to do. now, i feel my life is much richer with more interesting relationships with people at work and being a dad. My lifestyle is pretty healthy in general compared to my early thirties as well. So, the only constant between then and now is of me not being in an intimate relationship. Still, that ‘hole’ in my life doesn’t really weigh on me too much and i can’t deny that i don’t think about it but i can’t seem to be prioritize around it. Naturally, the best thing to do is just go about my daily experience and meet someone in context but i find myself a bit too comfortable on being alone most of the time. even going to meet ups and conferences with some minor intention to meet people doesn’t feel right to me. so what does all this have to do with the vision quest? i am thinking that part of my intention is to come some resolution about the manner. to let go of this primal biological cultural desire and embrace the path of a spiritual warrior of sorts. i am reminded of this great quote for a documentary about people that live off the grid. the interviewer asked them how they dealt with the isolation of living of the grid? their answer, we embrace it. i suspect that if i moved to the woods, that i too would embrace it. the struggle only comes from being around in the city and the influence of others. maybe the more time i spend in nature, the strength to embrace the isolation will come.