there is no doubt that i’ve lived a very comfortable life for the past 20 years. i don’t think i have really ‘struggle’ since i left college. life was on the upswing and now i am feeling the entrapment of the comfort. in the past year, it has gone to level of excessive comfort and i know the downward spiral has started. granted my divorce had been quite an emotional struggle but i felt like i came out of it pretty unscathed. i know it’s not entire true but i’ve been feeling really tired of this comfort. i have to do silly athletic feats like run 20 sometime miles to really remind myself what juicy suffering is. i am coming to the conclusion that the comfort of success removes you so much from the nature of life, which is suffering, that you not only do you wish to perpetuate your state of being and you have no need for spiritual practice. so the question is if i lost all the material things and my sweetest darling, how would i act? would i just go back to procuring those things or be able to move to some sort of spiritual shift. since the probability of chance forcing the hand, i find myself very stuck in my comfort zone that is slowly destroying the hunger in my soul. i signed up to do a vision quest next year with the idea that i need to step outside of my comfort zone physically and mentally. i kid myself thinking that i don’t need more ‘vision’, just better execution, i have discourage myself from new ideas/experiences. i tell myself just to practice what you know now and stop moving forward with more new ideas and experieneces. undoubedly, i am not feeling still by any means and i need to know why i can’t be still and be at peace.