i didn’t also quite believe it when i saw her today. i was having lunch with an old friend and i had intentionally gone to a cafe where i knew a fellow landmark graduate worked. she had previously stop me in the middle of the street weeks prior and i had a wonderful connection with her in the brief conversation that we had on the sidewalk. chance was with me today as i found her working in the back of the cafe as a cook. she look quite different with a baseball cap on but her reaction to my half ass hello was more than enough to make my day. the way an italian woman says my name with the such simple delight was enough make me smile for the rest of the day. there is a part of me that doesn’t understand why i have such quick connections with some people but it delights me to no end. anyway, after a bit of chatter, she says she wants to treat me to some dessert because she is the dessert chef at the cafe. and so i return to my table and tell my friend about how we meet and why landmark was just a great exercise for me.
and then, she works in and for the first 10 seconds, i almost really don’t belive that it was her. she look so different. so hippish but still quite the stylish woman that i remember her from her stint at yoga tree. i steal quick glances towards the bar to really confirm that it was her but i am still the loser that won’t listen to my intution that knew it was her the first second i laid eyes on her. only finally do i get up to attend the restroom that she waves at me and acknowledging our tiny relationship. as i am catching up to her, i can’t help but notice the facial differences in her face. she seem to have changed considerably, a bit older, maybe a bit wiser. when i first approach she doesn’t put her hands out to shake my hand but she puts her hand in a prayer like formation. i am at lost to how to react. i mumble my usual incoherent horseshit and she tells me that she has been travelling in the northwest for the past month. she is moving out of her apartment and in a period of transition and she doesn’t know where she will land in the foreseeable future. all the while, i can’t take my eyes off her gorgeous eyes. they’re intense green eyes with determination and depth. i am locked in her power and unable to make any gesture of civility. accordingly we end the chance encounter with the usual, i will see you around in the city because we’re in a small circle concept. yeah, i am thinking that i already knew where she was substituting as a yoga teacher but i feel like shit for being such a stalker. anyway, part of me, realizes that i don’t know if i can handle being with someone i am so physically attracted to. it short circuits too many of my wires. there was some sense of relief after seeing her and realizing that a part of me has gotten over her. i pretty much had the chance to ask her for more than small talk and i failed to act. it’s possible it’s not the right timing but tomorrow doesn’t exist anymore. every new day is the end of my life in this chapter.