i’ve been cleaning the blog for the last week since i’ve migrated to a new clean look. it’s been fun rereading a lot of the old entries and seeing my past through my own babble. it’s mostly so disjointed nonetheless still interesting as many times i would try to deconstruct what i was actually going through at that point in time. i remember intentionally writing in fairly vague terms without using specific names and too descriptive actual events for the protecting of the mention but in hindsight, it’s definitely baffling even to me. anyway, through all my entries in the past 5 years, there wasn’t a single post about “my” dog. the one that i got to name even though he wasn’t my favorite at the SCPA. anyway, he was more or less officially mine after the divorce and i m very glad i got him. he’s the constant that i didn’t realize how much i was grateful for in during the dark period during the divorce. between him and uma in my life, i feel pretty ‘complete’ most of the days. well, let’s not exaggerate there but compared to the loneliness of the early 30’s, these days seem plenty fill with love and care. caring for something or someone does really help with shifting away from all the all consuming addiction of the ego to serving itself. as for this particular dog name jonsi. he couldn’t be more the archetypal loyal dog. almost annoying loyal where he is pretty following me everywhere in the house, even the bathroom. i decided recently that i want him to live as long as possible and that require cutting about 10 dogs off him. i am proud to say that after 115 miles in 90 days, he shaved off a few pounds and people do notice. i don’t think he will ever run long distances with me but if he jogs with me around my regular route in the oakland hills, i will be very happy that he will live a richer and longer live.