it is probably a by product of my child hood, the round peg that didn’t fit into any squares. ironically, i am sure many of us feel this way because we think we’re special or something funny like that. regardless, i don’t think it’s so much the social settings that really get to you so much. like when you’re working in a corporate office when deep inside, you know you don’t belong there. but it’s actually even deeper than that. say you find your social settings to be in congruent with your values. what happens then when […]

i am half way through, Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind, by the son of the late great trunpa rinpoche. mostly a simple but good read, nothing mind blowing but then i knew that already. nothing is new under the sun and i just need help getting off my lazy ass. firing at all sides to get my practice back in gear and sadly after 16 days of straight meditation, i got super ill and broke my routine. 4 days later, i am still working on another exercise to […]

last week was an intense week of hard core “work”, where i am working straight at least 12-15 hours days. i know that it’s not all that ‘hard’ when i consider how fortunate i am. but again, that good fortunate is mostly in the realm of the material and it doesn’t really do much in the long run. alas, i keep falling back to this transition point. i keep reminding myself that i need to create something different moving forward. i know father hood will take its course and with unknown adventures. it feels repetitive but i […]

i took uma and jonsi on a hike today up near the chabot space center. i was hesitant to do it considering i hadn’t carried uma on my back in over a year. i think the last time i used the baby carrier was when we were at grover hot springs. the hike didn’t start out too well as i got there around noon and it was beginning to get really hot. uma wasn’t having any of it as she started crying because the sun hat was too hot and the straps were too tight on her. […]