progress in routine

i’ve felt the need to keep readjustinng my perspective on life. try as i may, i don’t have an ounce to complain about much in life. i am pretty good at whining how how much i work but at the end of the end, all that whining is just a lot of hot air to remain myself about how important i am. it’s a fun little game that i play with myself, creating drama because without drama in the routine, i may get bored and move on so quickly.

on a side note, i watched a movie tonight, domino, that reminded me about a certain girl i fancied in high school. i still think about her every once in a while in a rather teenage kind of fashion. i can into about how she was the first grl that made me act unreasonably but the story is tiresome after the first sentence. certainly, i echo domino’s sentimental that one shouldn’t invest too heavily into the affairs of the heart because at the end of the day, they will just drive me into path of reowned suffering.. on another side note, i’ve been recently thinking about my mother and how my uncompleted state with her has shaped my love/hate relationship with woman. i am not going to blame it on her but i can’t deny that it has some deep influence on me. i wonder how deep this double edge sword cuts. it is not true freedom, that i know.

so what is this so call progress that i am making in a life of mass numbness? i do sound glamours when i use just progressive descriptors but it’s easier to hide behind grandoise words than admit that you don’t anything really intersting to say at 323am. it’s not entirely true but sometimes i have a great urge to express but lack direction. not that that’s readily not apparently to my esteemed readers but it serves them to be reminded that my urge is augmented by thier interest. accordingly progress has to place in a larger time spectrum so that i may utilize the power of patience. progess now is simply keeping the faith. faith is a real interesting concept because i wonder how many people actually (in this all too progressive city) actually deal with it. for now, it’s working it’s magic for me in multiple spheres of my life.

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