in times of need, i consult the bible known as in the words of my perfect teacher. tonight, i randomly open up a chapter and lo and behold, i find a most appropriate text.
i have met a sublime teacher, but let myself down by my negative behaviour.
i have found the best path, but i wander on precipitous byways.
bless me and all those of bad character like me
that our minds by be tamed by the dharma.
a series of seemingly unrelated circumstances have resulted in a potential turning point in my mind state. heavy has the weight of the business have been on my mind. overworked, under-sleep, under appreciated and all that good stuff have wreck havoc in my motivation to continue along these lines. something must change but what i ponder over and over again. if time was not an issue, i don’t think i would consider any major new course of action. but time or the lack of it, is a major guiding force that is causing me to rethink much. alas, i there is a new possibility in my mind now and i need only work out the details. a new course of action that will have drastic impact on the organization and myself. i don’t know how well it will set with the others but at this point, but i think it will be an obvious decision that will produce better results for the good of all that is involved.
anyway, the stage of achievement is not quite over but my current role has played out. it’s time to reinvent myself again but maybe i should just march first and ask questions later. that’s a terrible joke but fuck, bad jokes are plentiful in this sober state of mind. much time has past in the current endeavor yet it still feels like that it is in it’s infancy. some of us the the luxury of time or money, of which i am wealthless.