it’s been a while but it’s not for lack of trying. a couple of deleted entries didn’t make the light of day because being medicated means everything becomes more amplified. and so what brings me to this magic hour when 5 or more free mix drinks barely gets me going enough to force me out of the office by 10pm. the gig tonight reminded me of the time when i when to the party in the guieghiem which typical in NY fashion about 10x more interesting. i can imagine why it would be hard to leave NY if i ever went. if there was any gig that i could interesting conversations it would have been tonight but i refrained again. so after a couple rounds with the smoking tower, i thought about powerful my future path effects me now. well, it could be misconstrued as matters of principle but regardless of underlying marrow, the conflict exists because of the aspiration. the disparity only tears away at the soul during these nights of quiet desperation. the soul digs deeper and deeper to find belief beyond logic.

logic would suggest a life lost in the run mill of “supposedly doing something meaningful”, only sightly less pathetic then the run mill of “doing something”. the harvest of these seeds will be plentiful and delicious, not unlike the former days of yester years but even more glamorous. and the fruits of those seeds will be the seeds of the immmersive path. brick by brick the foundation will be build to a life of “fearless simplicity”. that is quite a beautiful concept there. for now, i am clearly confused as you are about the entire point of my exercise and that’s precisely the logic that keeps me in this eratia of existence. confusion is not quite the right expression because it’s actually quite clear but it really comes down to a question of timing. logic requests change now but faith suggest that i be patient. logic demands that i enjoy the fruits of relativity but faith seduces with the nobility of principles.