i spoke to three random woman tonight, i know how sad that sounds but coming from the fact that i can’t deal with people in general right now, it was an effort for me. it was not so difficult as to strike up the conversation but just finding enough movivation to care about it was the more interesting story (why tonight and who gives a shit about tonight). naturally, once it got rolling it was all easy and fun. i know it’s not terriblely hard or i am that shy but it does surpise me how ‘easy’ it is if i just fucking try. to think of it, even my last trip to new york where i force myself to go out was another example of me being capable but ulimately i am still caught in some story where i am suppose to not give a shit about chicks while i am doing some serious work to save the world from ugliness. yeah, whatever, i know i am a fucking hermit right now and i must indulge into the darkness of being extremely anti social for the sake being in that position.