if i was to trace back my own delusions of grandeur, it would probably be plant sometime in my late teens when i decide to leave the comfort of philly. philly was no means ever really comfortable for me but when i consider the prospects of california and the fine institution that is berkeley, philly would have been a safer bet. alas, having survived and gradutating from berkeley with some diginity, i confidently stumble upon the last great economic boom known as the dot com hyserita. there wasn’t anything i did nor did lady luck smile upon me during this wonderful era, but it still me made me like feel special person. which brings us to now, when destiny and effort converge into a unifying theory of grandeur.
illusions of grandeur exist to play jokes on the ill informed confidence of those that play the game. beneath the veneer of mild entertainment, the ego works it magic to elevate itself to the next level. there seems to be two impactful way to deal with these illusions of grandeur. one is to fulfill the destiny of grandeur or simply recognize as empty illusions and move on. for the most part, i prefer the later approach but what if the illusion of grandeur was diluted with noble ambitions to ‘improve’ the world. and so it isn’t so easy to just write it off but nonetheless the line beyond foolish ambition and worldly aspirations is only a breath away.
two movies in particular got me thinking on this line of thought. one was kung fu hustle and the othe was adaptation. not entirely related but not extactly so different when it comes to trying to figure out who the hell you are. while he’s trying to be a bad guy through out the entire movie, the lead character from kung fu hustle invariably becomes the hero. one of the premise of the movie is that one cannot escape our destiny. i can appreaciate that there are few people out that that believe in destiny but if you were to slightly believe in karma, then think of the possiblity where your karmic history is so strong that you are propel into your destiny. in other words, your past actions shape your character so much that that it is most likely that you will continue along the same line of trajectory within your karmic pathways. in so much, i can’t help that put of my own calling has some karmic underpinning that naws away at me until i am propel into a path all too fimilar in som remote distant past.
in adaption, the lead character is egoistical and creative enough to write himself into a screenplay of a book about flowers. naturally, it’s done in such a witty way that it’s quite comical because sometime we express what we know best, which is sometimes, ourselves. the interesting dilemna that artists face is to how sperate themselves from their work. obvoiously we’re talking from an objective level because subjectively one is always part of the work. first one must ask why must be sperate from our work? the quick and dirty answer would be that in order to effectively communicate the work, the degree of depersonalization promotes a degree of effective reachness. i can imagaine that the other school of thought would be that the more you’re in the work the more authentically you can reach your audience. it’s way to late for this sort of thinking but it seems apparent enough that it’s a slippery slope when you try to sperate yourself from the work. anyway, it got me laughing about myself because all i care to write about is about myself and how i interpret shit. i can’t help it if i am just following the advice of the Oracle, “know thine self”.