i had the pleasure of meeting my ex’s father this past weekend when he stop by to pick up all her stuff. he seem like an awfully nice and polite man, often using the word, ‘kindly’ in his sentences and apolozin g for interrupting my saturday. on the contrary, i felt like a bit of a fool for having not performing the dirty deed of shipping her stuff to new zealand for her. alas, fate would rear it’s glorious presence and somehow force the situation a bit. which all leads to the final major transition point of this past month. it’s definitely a much needed change for me and now i must take inventory on the process for the next couple of years. do i entertain the idea of a relationship or do i really take it to the next level of committment. somehow, i think i can go even more deeper into the process has already consumed the bulk of my existence. at this point, it becomes more of attestment to the concept of committment more than than anything. what has been achieved is sufficient enough for me ease the effort but i remain steadfast in accelerating the completion of the ‘project’. the terms and condition of the ‘completion’ status will provide for more luxurious freedom than if i were to deaccelerate the effort at this junture. the debate to indugle in the physical and emotional exercises only gain ground during times of actual awareness of said subjects of induglance are readily accessible. interestingly enough, the irony of it is that those ‘readily’ accessible subjects prefer a level of committment that is beyond my mortal means. it’s certainly possible but i would argue the qaulity of said relationship if it did happen. at this point, i am wailing in intellectual analysis that is getting a bit tiresome. still, i recall know why i really wanted to expunge my mindstream on this fine sunday evening.

i had the wonderful pleasure of catching up with my ex roommate on friday night. our spontaneous meeting was not under best circumstances for her when i realize very late into the night that she was going to much with her current romantic partner. we discuss much through dinner and a bottle of wine but it all seem to lead to a certain point. i feel a bit inadequate to answer her very pivotal question and i question my own interst in delievering advice to a woman is i find too cool for most men. conceptually, i find her undenibly ultra attractive in the qualities that matters to me. so maybe there is some confusion on the what is ‘wise’ advise and what is seemingly wise advise movivated by less than pureness. not that i felt guilty when i express my opinion about what she should do but the circumstance of the moment made me felt more attached that i should really be. regardless to the fact that i am only a simple male with rather complex feelings of intimacy and dettachment. but really, i must express my admiration for women like my ex roommate and ‘friend’. i felt particularly warm on the inside when she said that she considered me an ‘intimate’ friend. sometimes it’s hard for me to conceptualize that there is anything but a lack of intimacy in my life at this moment in time. lastly, i felt like a full on ‘sap’ when i actually recommend a book on relationships to her. it’s a book that i’ve recommend to a number of people but really need to stay out of dishing out advice any type of relationships. my track record alone should be quite telling enough that my kind of advice would only lead to the destruction of relationships and self. there may come a time when paths reconverge but this juncture there will be a massive divergence of values within most of my relationships. but lucklily, i will be constantly reminded by the power of ‘their’ value system on every other weekend as i document other people’s love story.