at point in my relationship with the ex, i took the time to spell out what i thought would be a healthy relationship. yes, intentions are nice but enrollment and embodiment is the work.

we contribute financially to this relationship in a meaningful manner. they should be able to have there own account to spend accordingly as they wish and contribute to the a joint account. the joint account would be use to pay for housing, living expenses and etc.

we have a career that has growth potential professionally and financially. alternatively, a career that helps people but is also meets their financial commitments. they have a strong work ethnic.

we have maintain a healthy perspective on personal, family and professional issues. they understand that you have to pick your battles and accept things as they are.

we would have a can do attitude and have the stamina to accomplish long term goals.

we would have a healthy sense of self esteem and worth. they would not threaten by other woman in their partner’s circle of workers/friends/etc.

we create yearly goals and develop a roadmap for the relationship in 5 and 10 years perspectives.

we trust the fidelity of relationship and our commitment to being honest.

we have a spiritual roadmap and actively seek to work towards it.

we recognize that are at different spiritual levels and support each other when appropriate. we recognize that we may have different road maps and goals in our spiritual practice.

we learn the value of saving money for our retirement and work towards being debt free. we work towards purchasing a home as a reflection of investing in our future.

we recognize that we need a support system of friends within our proximity that supports our family lifestyle and spiritual practice.

we recognize that we have a very limited amount of time left in our left and works towards personal, professional and spiritual goals. we will seek to eliminate the biggest distractions from our daily lives.

we have goals of self improvement and work towards them on a yearly timetable.

we have a support system of friends and teachers/mentors that share their spiritual beliefs and can provide another perspective from within that spiritual belief.

we value a healthy state of mind and body. we works towards in developing a habit to maintain that healthy state of being.

they would have a support system of friends and teachers/mentors that share their spiritual beliefs and can provide another perspective from within that spiritual belief.

we value having boundaries and personal time to ourselves. the boundaries would extend to not working together unless it is a short term collaborative project as equals. we establish weekly times when we can have have persona time away from our partner/family.

we recognize the value of working our relationship enhancing skills and make each other accountable to it.

we will raise our child to be always respectful towards us and older people.

for myself:

i will find a financially sustainable career that can provide me with the ability to not only meet our fundamental financial needs but provide me with the flexibly of taking a few months off per year to create personal project/work on a spiritual practice.

i will find myself a spiritual teacher that i can make myself accountable to before i am 39. I will take refuge before i am 38.

i will be active in raising my child. i will make time to spend quality time with them. i will mentor them to give them the skills to cope with challenges of their adult age. i will give them a significant spiritual reference of Buddhism.

i will maintain a healthy balance on work, family, and play.