_the fading dream of a generation
i spoke to an uncle of mine that is in the process of getting a divorce after 20 odd something years. it was weird to be having an ‘adult’ conversation with any of my family members as somehow i think they still think that i am that college kid that left and never came home. but i think the family’s perception of me and to a larger extend my father, is slowly changing as material well being leads to mid life questioning. It’s rather natural that it would take my cousin’s unexpected death for a number of us to question the basis of happiness and how short life is. i am glad that my uncle finally around to questioning the basis his automated life style. there are plenty of people that get on that train that make all the nice stops at college town, career city and marriage suburbia. where is the train going? few know and even fewer care to ask.
meanwhile, i am at least back on my reading track. i am engrossed in the tibetean fasting ritual and it’s power. as i read about these things, i do have a sense of being bless to have access to such teachings. even if i don’t do these practices in these times of major distraction, i know that they will come in handy further down my path of self destruction. there is much to learn in the mystic ways but the road of practice is beyond the measure of my feeble mind. tick tock. tick tock. 10 mins turns into 10 years far too quickly for the unaware.