i recieved my first issue of shambhala sun, a buddhist magazine which i’ve been trying to avoid. my logic must of slip on evening when i decided i should be on more mailing lists that target supposedly generous people like me. anyway, the front cover has one of the most amazingly portraits of the dalai lama i’ve seen in a long time. the sheer simplicity and depth of the photo makes me wanna cry. and of course i am reading robert thurman’s article on the his impression of what does it mean to be in the presence of his holieness in the way that he is involved within tibetean buddhism. i am only beginning to feel the awe that so many tibeteans feel in his presence. i recall one time not too long about i was experiencing elated states of bliss under the influence mr brown. I recall the extreme sensation of clarity and bliss, when i look from under my bed sheets into the calendar of the dalai lama that was given me a number of years ago. i always keep it on the same month because i like the orange colors and the nature of the scene. it was a photo of a very great tibetan master supplicating to the dalai lama. in the moment that i realize that nature of the photo, i realize the purpose of my life. It wasn’t so much i didn’t know what the purpose of my life was before that moment, but i think of the experience as a direct experience by which inspirition may be drawn upon. An experience that shakes the mindstream into an undenible fork in the path of life.

so, i come back to that expereince now and then in the past years. nothing as powerful but then things are more stublte now. nonetheless, the high in high monkey monk is still going strong. as a matter of fact, i’ve been recently meditating states of non soberiety. it’s actually quite interesting because i didn’t think it was possible before now i understand why the siddhus in India smoke MJ all day and do standing meditation. obviously, it does take some stablitization of the practice in order to undertake questionable practices. To be honest, i think drugs can be utilize in such a way that can be a lab for the mind to experience an extreme sickness of samarsa. there has been countless times where i realize the nature of perceptioon of reality is so filter that i no longer trust my 5 senses to precieve reality as it is. because you realize that the drug is filter by which in expereince those moments, you begin to realize that even in your sober state you have a filter that creates your perception. by ampifiying that filter you remind yourself of it’s existence. so that’s my current logical excuse in experimenting with alternative forms of perception. well, it’s unfortunate that one of the main basic tenents of buddhism is to stay away from intoxicants and it’s rightly so. just as a child is told to stay away from a sharp knife, for it will do it more harm than anything else.

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_by steve pyke