it’s been a while since my last muse, but i’ve semi finally caught up with my working life. in between fighting off a sickness, processing photos from cousin’s wedding and configuring two new computers in the office, i didn’t have much time to kick it on the keyboard. i’ve been away from the base too much and it seems like i am simply my own expectations. alas, a little meditation helps me destory those silly expectations.
so, i had the wonderful pleasure of capturing my cousin’s wedding. although i would have like to enjoy the wedding and got really wasted and all, i am glad i sign up for the deal. although i was pretty toasted in general, i think i did a decent job nonetheless. granted the environment and people made my job a lot easier to capture those delicious nuggets of non duality. after all was said and done, i think the fight i got in with one of my cousin’s at 230am after the wedding was quite symbolic to say the least. symbolic in the fact that i can only stand to be around my extended family for only brief dosages of time. i am they’re all good people with big hearts but fundmentally, they on the same side of the fence as most of middle america. success is centered around a big house, two cars, two kids and great vacations. not to say that i don’t want to things either but if that is all i thought about in life, well, i should have stayed in philly. i wonder sometimes if i had never left philly, how my life would turn out. would i be as remotely interesting as i pretend to be? i think the important thing i need to remind myself why i have taken this path. i am grateful for recent revelation in my practice to extend my motivation beyond my reckless ego.
anyway, i was caught up on more family drama than i care for really. at one point during my arguement with my cousin, i caught myself thinking ‘why are you arguing?’. i am not going to do anything about it or convince anyone of anything so why destory a pleasant evening with high talk. but it was too late. my cousin was in the woman fighing zone and nothing i could say would make it okay. i am glad her husband step in and took the heat and end the conversation. it was ugly. she was ended up cursing out her husband out and he was just being a good man. anyway, i think the episode would be indictive of my interactions with many of my family members. it’s only natural they justify their way of life and anything contary to that would simply be a mockery. it’s a challenaging thing to keep my mouth shut but i know my opinion would mostly collide with hallow ears.
anyway, enough with the ramblings. time for some fun photography…
