what happens when two guys hanging out with MJ watch the ‘joy luck club’? not your average jockey boys but the crazy ones that everyone laughs at but grudingly respect! ha ha. the crazy landlord and his favorite son. well, let’s not get that silly but it was pretty fucking funny when we’re both laughing at heads off because it would have been unstoppable laugther if we were actually crying to the tear jerking scenes. it was almost sick in a metaphyiscal way because you have all these social constructs working against each other to control the mind. although i would normally tear myself away at thse types of tear jerkers, it was a strange force that made us sillified for 2 hours.
there are lessons to be learnt. oh so many short pingly little lessons about all the things we misunderstand. the fact that we think we can understand the universe because we can add to 10. oh, what horrible beauty it is to be blessed with the gift of ignorance and knowledge. the knife that cuts the truth is the knife that stabs the soul. what of the soul? is it not our unborn face? that which can be known can not be us. for to search for the unborn face is to leave home. when did i leave my home? what is the face of my universal mother? why have i gotten the face of my mother? of these things no one has the answer. sometimes i wonder if i have let her go or have i intentionally forgetten her face. what is the great relevation of these broken chain? so many questions to let go off.
and of course, i am listening to dj lick’s ‘thank you cyntnia’ mix and i am thinking of her. i told an old high school friend today about what happen and her response what maybe it was an opportunity for you to figure out if it’s the real thing!? i’ve been avoiding the concept so much because what i want to believe that what is real is only as real as the rainbow. under the current conditions of my state of mind and soul, the relationships is as real as anything i can experienece. but the question that begs than is how stable are those conditions of the heart and mind. we are both nearing cross roads in our lives and neither know what bridge the other will take. the bridge that brings us to the other side of who we want to be or the bridge that brings us to we can be.