without doubt, my relationship with her has been one of the most emotionally extreme. i sound like a broken record because i’ve written and thought about it too much. it’s close to two months now so i think the closure/mouring period is coming up pretty soon. i hoping after 3 months of yanking back and forth will be sufficient for me to throw in the towel. i think i need a big vacation for sure. at least two weeks to kick it and rediscover my creative voice. it’s been lost in the mess of being overworked and under appreacited by existence. i am thinking mexico but france is calling out. i love to visit my musical god in brittany and favorite frenchman in mont marte (home of amelie …the movie). but i am better stop whining about shit and just do it. i just gotta stop getting wasted and calling her in the pits of my drunken state. that’s the worse. but it makes hitting rock bottom much easier when you’re so pathetic. god bless good music and single malt.