so, i got a call at 3am and i knew it was her. if i had heard it the first time it rang, i may have pick it up after the 4th ring. it was already the beginning of the third ring when i registered that it was her. naturally, i couldn’t go back to sleep and i played the argruments again in my head. this time, there was another angle that struck a cord in my cloudy mind. Why must I prove anything in order it to be true? if you need proof in order to belief, then you’ve already lost the essence. it’s like the silly old question…how do you prove that god exist? you don’t, but you can believe in IT if you’re sensitive ENOUGH to see it all around us.
i don’t want to get all big picture but it critical that i put everything in context. no doubt the relationship allowed me to relearn and test many of the beliefs that make me the high monkey monk. the spirit of the relationship was unlike any other i’ve experience because of the extreme levels of disparity between love and frustration. the well seem deep enough but the bucket had too many holes mine it’s coloress treasure.
my train of thought has been so scattered that it’s pretty disgusting should i ever reread what i’ve written in the past few days. from elated states of realizations to stupors of physical indulgnes, words stumble out without remorse for any pretense of showmanship. therpay needs no spell checker.