my girlfriend asked where i am with my growth plans and in my usual smartass attitude, i responded that i am 20% at 4 quadrants. it was smart ass but i did give serious thought into the manner. it’s usually on my mind in some form these days because everyone knows that i am not living to the fullest. it would be wrong for me to say that i am working through the ‘grind’ of it but sometimes it feels that way. ultimately i see it as a foundation for other endeavors but the question becomes how big of a foundation do i really need. patience i suggest because six years is not unreasonable for a project such as this. the only catch of course is to have a more balanced approach to the day to day experience. i keep telling myself that it’s all going to change when she comes around. but i suspect i may trade in one intensity for another intense experience. it’s true that i haven’t had much contemplation time in the past X years but there is flow, progress and direction. i believe that patience is one of my values but balance isn’t. and that is where she will work her magic on me. as i was drifting off to sleep as night, i keep on planting mental seeds to dream about her. unfortunately those seeds were not fruitful but i did realize something of significant on my drive back from san diego. i have already known that i sleep much better when i am sleeping with her but i think i made the connection that her energy helps ignite my dream engine as well. she is a wonderful dreamer and i am keen on recapturing my ability to, first dream and then begin my dream yogas. she has been writing profusely lately and in turn inspired this barge of sporadic thoughts. i rode my bike today and mediated this morning. i keep getting this strong urges to express my love for her but we’re on a communication fast and i am wondering why i cry so easily. i almost cried last week while i was photographing a bunch of bankers talking about how they’re helping the inner citiy kids. there is obviously something i am neglecting and i suspect it’s my inability to express compassion through actions and words. it’s a frustrating experience to say the least but that’s what i am working on my love.<\/p>\n
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my girlfriend asked where i am with my growth plans and in my usual smartass attitude, i responded that i am 20% at 4 quadrants. it was smart ass but i did give serious thought into the manner. it’s usually on my mind in some form these days because everyone knows that i am not living to the fullest. it would be wrong for me to say that i am working through the ‘grind’ of it but sometimes it feels that way. ultimately i see it as a foundation for other endeavors but the question becomes how […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-743","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thoughts"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pb4m0Z-bZ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/743","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=743"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/743\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=743"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=743"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=743"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}