{"id":539,"date":"2004-09-12T23:41:00","date_gmt":"2004-09-13T07:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/?p=539"},"modified":"2004-09-12T23:41:00","modified_gmt":"2004-09-13T07:41:00","slug":"the-pull-of-the-path","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/?p=539","title":{"rendered":"the pull of the path"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"CRW_1469.jpg\"
\n_facing the wrong direction or not.<\/p>\n

it’s been a while since i mediated. i can’t remember the number of months but it feels like over a year. actually, i meditated last week and it felt refreshing but it would seem that my dominant disposition is one of very focused denial of everything that isn’t ‘work’. i was cleaning up my room tonight and all my plants are dying. it’s a pretty accurate manifestation of my relationship with my personal life. i am not suprised that things are dead or i don’t have any friends beyond my local orange world (besides my exercise buddy), it’s always been a conscious choice.<\/p>\n

so, there does that leave me? how long will i work on this project before i am sick of this glorious lifestyle that has no seperation. maybe i should just find a buddhist girlfriend and she will help me get back on track. no, that would be the easy route. i got an email from my ex and she’s bad in new zealand now. sounds like she’s not doing that great and have to start all over again. i feel quite sad for her and i wish i could help her more. alas, i have committed myself to a continue existence of self mediciation. it’s not what i want but it disrupts my life enough to make me question my actions. if i were to be sober all the time and productive, i would think too much of myself but because of the medication, i am disgusted by my soberity. it’s funny how that all works.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

_facing the wrong direction or not. it’s been a while since i mediated. i can’t remember the number of months but it feels like over a year. actually, i meditated last week and it felt refreshing but it would seem that my dominant disposition is one of very focused denial of everything that isn’t ‘work’. i was cleaning up my room tonight and all my plants are dying. it’s a pretty accurate manifestation of my relationship with my personal life. i am not suprised that things are dead or i don’t have any friends beyond my local […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[23],"tags":[29],"class_list":["post-539","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thoughts","tag-spirtuality"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pb4m0Z-8H","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/539","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=539"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/539\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}