{"id":425,"date":"2003-08-18T22:34:37","date_gmt":"2003-08-19T06:34:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/?p=425"},"modified":"2003-08-18T22:34:37","modified_gmt":"2003-08-19T06:34:37","slug":"tips-on-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/?p=425","title":{"rendered":"tips on dating"},"content":{"rendered":"

i got a good kick out of this. i am not sure how i got there but it cracks me up but also me think, gosh, this is really helpful. specifically, it’s about a woman<\/a>, who has a faq on how you should date her. i mean it makes sense because why waste your time if you don’t agree with anything she says! but wait, what if you did agree with what she said, would you still find it so intriguing to date this person? i mean, what if i started listing all the things you should be aware about when you date an aspiring monkey monk. i am thinking, no woman in their right mind would date a monkey monk because first of all he’s a monkey before he’s a monkey. in which part of monkey monk do you think is great in bed? ha ha. but alas, the monkey monk is being currently re engineered for better performance.<\/p>\n

what the hell. here’s the top 5 things a person should be aware of when you’re dating a buddhist. i think orangenex has a book on this but i thought i give it a shot since i’ve been beaten into the label already.<\/p>\n

5. Buddhists love paradoxes. one minute they will say they love you and the next, they will say that nothing is real. without paradoxes buddhists can’t trick people to think that they know nothing and everything.<\/p>\n

4. Buddists do have emotions but the emotions are like rainbows. They only show it in between their bardo states. bardo means the transition from one state to another state of being. but even after they show it, they just laugh it off and say it wasn’t really real.<\/p>\n

3. Most buddhist have problems with their ego. That would like to stomp it but it keeps popping up like those clowns in the circus that you hammer down with the plastic hammer.<\/p>\n

2. buddhist don’t like being label buddhist it’s like followers of gandhi being called gandhist. in fact, they don’t like labels in general because it’s so damn conceptual.<\/p>\n

1. buddhist aren’t enlightened people. they fuck up like everyone else but they remember in the morning why they want to wake up from the matrix.<\/p>\n

so remember, the next time you date a buddhist, you owe them currency from the previous lifetime. cha ching. you know you’re a monkey monk when you tell karma jokes. oh yeah, check out this other buddhist wise cracker on craiglists….<\/p>\n


\nReply to: anon-14025178@craigslist.org
\nDate: Fri Jul 25 12:30:24 2003<\/p>\n

You had no idea you did it and it’s not that I’m actually angry at you, but
\nrather a bit puzzled as to how someone could step in a pile of dog shit that
\nconsiderable, IN STRAPPY HEELS, NOT NOTICE, and then as you continue to do
\nyour heel-toe chicken strut manage to fling a small portion of said shit
\ndirectly into my shin.<\/p>\n

This happened on the north side of Market Street near 4th. I saw it in your
\nface that you had no recognition of what you were doing, for that I shall
\nspare you any rage-filled verbal lynching, but by now you must have figured
\nit out, cleaned it off, and are probably neck-deep in the toilet vomiting up
\nthe last of your banana nut muffin b\/c I SAW some of it on your open toe,
\nwhich no doubt you have by now as well.<\/p>\n

So, shit-kicker, I do not blame you for your actions, for I am a Buddhist
\nand realize the futility of such an action, but I do pose a question;
\nkarmically speaking, you stepped in that dog shit for a reason, probably a
\nwrong-doing of some kind in a past life or in this one. I ask you what you
\nthink you might have done to cause this event to transpire, and, how did I
\nget involved. As the Buddha taught 2500 years ago, we all keep coming back,
\nover and over again, starting off where we left off from the previous life.
\nSo as I’m reflecting on this right now, I realize the error in my ways.
\nPerhaps it is I who owes the apology, seeing as how some sort of horrible
\ntransgression on my part towards you was finally paid up today when you sent
\nthat Hershey kiss of dog excrement hurtling towards my Banana Republic
\npants.<\/p>\n

Everything is random, yet nothing is. So I digress my shit-kicking girl…I
\nsay we’re even. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry about that little
\nincident 239 years ago. I never intended to have my horse kick you in the
\nmouth like that.<\/p>\n

Ok, that’s a lie, I kinda intended, but didn’t think it would cause such
\nextensive damage. The practice of Dentistry wasn’t then what it is today.<\/p>\n

I wai to you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

i got a good kick out of this. i am not sure how i got there but it cracks me up but also me think, gosh, this is really helpful. specifically, it’s about a woman, who has a faq on how you should date her. i mean it makes sense because why waste your time if you don’t agree with anything she says! but wait, what if you did agree with what she said, would you still find it so intriguing to date this person? i mean, what if i started listing all the things you should […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23],"tags":[40],"class_list":["post-425","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thoughts","tag-random"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pb4m0Z-6R","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/425","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=425"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/425\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=425"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=425"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jack.orangephotography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=425"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}