unpublished

Without you
I twist and turn
Embracing cold emptiness
Waiting over lifetimes
Mind body soul
Disjointed and broken
Sickness without pain
Arrogance masturbating ignorance

 

In your warmth
Wetness penetration
Into endless passion
Between our soul
Rawness of our beauty
Radiating from the ever glow
Laughing loudly at the break of dawn
Our love blossoms
In the darkest nights
Kissing fucking moaning
Praying worshipping prostrating
The god in each other

mindless 2.o

the more things change the more they stay the same, so says the  wise. and so with the rebirth of orange 2.0, back to being way over my head on many things. i would think that surviving 5 years would be a nice milestone but it hasn’t made me sleep any better these days. more work, less pay and less friends but at least more love.

dtw to sfo

I turned 34 recently and without too much doubt, it was one of my best birthdays. The fact that I can’t recall anything significant in the past 10 years would be adequate in that line of reasoning. Even the celebration itself was pleasantly excellent and different from the previous years. A homemade double layer cake with 3 kids singing happy birthday to me was simply charming. Later in the night, my lover and I thoroughly enjoyed a bit of recreational substance to insure an unforgettable night. As wonderful as all the day’s activities has been, I think the most significant part of it was the context of my rebirth. With her in my life now, things have transformed so significantly that there isn’t a basis comparison. With so many more possibilities the question, again, becomes a matter of priority. To some regard, the playing field is more level for me. Before I had wholesale discounted my personal life for the sake for the work but now, I no longer can (nor do I want to) forsake my personal life. Ironically, productivity may even increase. Undoubtedly, I feel like my productivity had hit a threshold of diminishing returns in the past years. Alternatively, I may have been doing more work but less important work because I had more time. Anyway, I tend to view whatever life circumstances I am presently in the best possible light and appropriate for me. Luckily this is being labeled as random thoughts because that’s the only kind of thoughts I have these days. So I will have two new concepts to be fanatical about this year, her and my mac book pro.

the year in review

In less than 48 hours, my 33rd year will come to a close and i can’t help but be dumbfounded by the magnitude of changes that has happened this year. the year started out quietly and uneventful enough but there were seeds of change right around the turn of the 33rd. in hindsight, i had just met my lover a month prior and at that point, we were merely friends and i was still in a state of denial that we were even that. fast forward 2 or 3 months and i get a valentine’s gift from her and even though she says it’s a prank joke, i begin to suspect that more to the relationship that the seemingly benign late night conversations. it’s really not necessary to retrace every milestone but i would have to say that by the end of june, the new chapter had already begun.