one of my great and numerous mistakes in the past years is to go overboard with the DIY approach to running a business. given my relative short talent, i have overextended myself in so many ways and have fully lived up to the jack of many trades and master of none. luckily it isn’t too late for me to begin retracting myself a bit and learn to really focus on what i am good and and what i really want to do. it only took me about 5 years to figure this out but then again, just being an engineer/technologist was not my cup of tea either. alas, being in IT hell for the past several days have humble again and why i really dislike it. it’s true that no one appreaciates an IT guy and only thinks of them when something is wrong. anyway, making another commitment to myself next year to outsource this role real fast.
i didn’t think it would happen so abruptly in light for the recent departures but again, it’s hardly surprising to me. i guess this was always something that was in the back of my mind and i figure it would be a matter of timing. In hindsight, i am sure the timing is appropriate given all the changes in the past year. Certainly, it’s hard to me not to consider it in a personal manner. i wouldn’t go as far as to say that it is a personal failure but it’s not too far from that benchmark. it’s like when you break up with a boy/girl friend. maybe it was because they were truly crazy and you had to break up with them. the question of how much responsibility does one take in these types of relationships. i guess it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. all the intellectual whys still don’t shed any more light on the great ignorance. so ends the chapter of three.
in the wake of growing pains and outward success, i am in an awkward position with most of the folks working with or for me. on the deeper level, we are undoubtedly successful within the industry and the marketplace as it comes to potential of the business and the value of the brand. on the other token, we’re all hurting financially because we’ve invested so much money back into the business. the question becomes, when will their be an ROI on our investment? the easy answer to that would be if we were all getting decent salaries now, then the investment would have paid off a bit. but since that is not the case, the value of the leadership and strategic direction is under fire. in some respect, i feel that it’s almost futile to discuss these matters due to the fact that you’re actually trying to reconcile philosophical points of view. i know myself and the respective parties enough to appreciate that our issues of contention in the board room stem from philosophical differences. for those that think in the short view, i would like to remind them that we would not even be here if we didn’t take the long view to begin with. so, is the long view too long or is it premature in the context of natural evolution. luckily it is still the majority view of the organization that we continue our long view development of a success brand.
i should really express more of my business observations, given how much of it consumes my life. but for some reason, i seem to believe that since i am so engross in it every day, it would be over the top to write it all down again. regardless, the last several months have produced some clarity on definitions and direction of the business and i am feeling more at ease with it’s overall direction. strategic direction is always an important factor in my life and even more so in a business context. if you don’t why and what you’re working for, then be prepare to expect the unexpected. anyway, sometimes i wish i had a secreatary to document all the business observations and plans that go through my mind because i do think it would add considerable value to the organization. anyway, in light of my recent personal upheaval, the absolute work productivity has taken a hit but it possible that i am more efficient due to the nature of a "balance" lifestyle. counter intutitive but i know it works for me.
in the past month, i’ve come to a conclusion that will save myself and hopefully take the company to the next level. although i don’t know if it will actually pan out, considering the challenage of finding someone approraite to ‘replace’ me as the head cheese, i am very much embracing the idea on numerous levels. i think after watching the power of myth, it became apparent that i wasn’t following my bliss. it’s not so black and white because as i still have the problem with the concept that is it the ego that is following it’s bliss. in so as much, my responsiblity to the bigger movitvation, keeps the bliss following in check. in some regard, i consider the path of following my own bliss seems unresponsible or unworthy. somehow, i’ve created a line of logic that limits the “ability” of photography/art to benefit humanity on the level that i feel the need to operate at. obviously, art/photography can be the ‘clothing of revelation’ and inform and inspire humanity. maybe it is my own naviety to believe that i want a more direct/viseral experience to that process. i am aware that it’s all about trade offs. when one works at a higher level (ie art/philanthropy) it can reach and inspire a lot more people than a personal direct approach to evalvating the human condition. i am sure in hindsight, my rational will evolve to the higher level of the process but for now, i am knee keep in foundational exercises. even before anything has happen, even the simple choice to try to let go has already breathe fresh air into my life.