so begins my transition to a "new" life where i am surround by kids and a good night’s rest in the arms of my lover. i quite productive as i was able to focus on different aspects of my work when i am not surrounded by the office rituals. i joked that my commute is now 2000 miles but at least i get to work at home and participate in the great act of ‘raising kids’. granted, it’s still a bit awkward right now because i just got promoted from being a friend to special friend and the kids think i am weird. i haven’t thought about it too much but certainly i am in an interesting position when it comes to being influential without ultimate responsibility. undoubtedly, i need to take my influential role with the utmost responsibility and by the power of my practice and inspiration to extend my sphere of compassion and interdependence. i imagine my ability to love her kids and have responsibility for them without them being mine, can be a testament to the level of the practice.
it is not without great irony that i consider the progress and potential of my spiritual development in this new context. i had such great plans of monkhood and exploration to further cultivate my trajectory and my great excuse was i wasn’t ready. all the attachments of my work, daily habits and ‘abundance’ of time made it easy maintain the status quo. certainly i lost some face with my friends when i did a 180 and consider other possibilities but i am not one to hold too tightly to plans. there is a path and that remains clear as ever but the plan on how to walk is amendable to life. my parents recently realize the seriousness of my relationship and had to put in their two cents. i don’t find it surprising that they do not exactly fully support my ‘abnormal’ choices, but at this point they dare not question my ability to make responsible choices. it’s beyond the level of their cultural comfort zone and i can appreciate their concern for my well being.