we’re taking pause from our nightly late night conversations and although i still want her to call, i know it’s good for us to give each other some space. naturally, the irony is that there is exactly 2048 miles of space between us. even though we have making fairly regular communication, i am still debating on the value of technology to bring intimdate relationships ‘closer’. for some reason, i like to draw the line at email as a channel of communication that can convey the thoughtfullness of letters while having the expedincy that makes it convienent. still, it hasn’t stop me from using webcam and IM but i in the school of qaulity over qauntity of communication. anyway, it’s a moot point because it seem that the basis of my relationship was built over IM.
it’s been a emotionally brutal week in light of the news reaching a respective number of people and the conversations that followed. although understandable given the relative maturity of the relationship, we continue to deal with issues of trust on a number of different level. unfortunately, being in love does not automatically grant the full level of trust that one would expect. it seems that we’re both coming from different paths of mistrust and it natural that we bring it into the relationship (on a subscious level of course because no one wants to say they don’t trust the other person). i think the mistrust simply manifests as actions that we take without being fully aware of the why of such action. i am over simplifying relationship dynamics undoubtedly but the theme has played out for me considerably this week. even the movie i watch tonight dealt with the nature of trust and what happens when that trust is betrayed. i imagaine when the trust between two people break down that there’s a lot more going on and lack of trust is simply a summation of all those others things. anyway, i am way too tired to express anything meaningful for it so i may redirect my energy into some a bit more useful.