victory rose

it’s been a very long time since i felt the intensity of joy and fear all mixed up to an undoubtedly unforgettable experience. then again, most of these days are spent in a fairly forget experience of seemingly endless toil. intense experiences such as these do shake the foundation of experential construct. it’s far too easy to give into the fear of ill fated perceptions and let reality degenrate to a series of endless bad jokes. but i past the test again with somewhat of flying colors, if not, then at least with great tears of joy. these lovely boys from iceland will be my grateful dead. it seems that i have quite a successful record in being a very certain state of expereience.

the experience still lingers even though many days have past. the mind state is felt to disgest on the fine line between all these seemingly contradictory feelings. between fear and joy, love and hate. it quite ridicously amazing that the power to recreate reality is easily accessible to all that is willing. and it is this great teaching is tested time and time again in these seemingly counterproductive exercusions into the realm of no control. take this experience and sustain it in a great sober awarenss and i fancy that spiritual enlightment is not such a far fetch concept. i am acutely aware that these exact sentinmentals were explored in the 60s counter culture and what of those learnings? invaribly, teachings such as these are best experience and throughly examine on the truth of such compositions. many have travelled this road before and many shall falter on this dangerous path of loosely defined constructs.

my yogic practice is near a low point. only habit keeps me going as i am hitting a wall of progress in form. obviously perfection of form is not the point of the practice but only serves as a mirror of commitment as form. the next level is near and i yearn to commit without over committing. on a side note, although losing some steam, my meditation practice is still going on. currently barely hitting a 70% regualr basis rate but it’s most more progress than most of my post retreat attempts.

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