the parents

probably one of my least favorite subjects to think about. in my teenage years i blame them for the bulk of the misery i felt. in my twenties, the fruition of abandonment came to being but i wasn’t too angry about it. it continued to perpetuate into my thirties and only during my marriage ceremony with neither of them there did the loss come to physical form. and then i visited the lost child during my vision quest and i know there is still work to be done in this area. i think about my original contract, my original wound and i can’t help but to feel and know that this is the root of my shadow work and healing process. i know it’s not a particularly novel issue as i suspect most of feel experience it on some degree. now my journey of trusting the world comes into full conciousness. as i interact with my parents more in the past 10 years, i know is’t a bit odd how unemotionally detached we are around each other. the funniest irony is that we’re all hard core buddhist in our own ways and we fine with her our karma is playing out between all of us. as phyiscal parents, i don’t feel particularly grateful towards them but as celestrial parents, they as good as it gets. so begets this awkward sensation of not giving a shit that we are awkward parents and i am the awkward and proud offspring. i have my mom intense work ethnic and my dad’s laid back attitude. it seems to make for a pretty balance lifestyle i suspect. to be honest, i suspect my daughter will have a similar penchant. she choose as much as i chosen to be born in a household of seekers.