on becoming an obssesion

i was showing uma a video i made a few days ago when i went running in the rain. it wasn’t really a downpour, as i am not that hard core. i definitely wanted to chicken out a few times where i went outside and came back, thinking that it would be silly to run these kind of conditions. rain itself isn’t that bad but combine it with bitterness windy cold and it makes you think twice. so i did think twice but i finally stop thinking about it and did it. of course, once i am running and puffing my ass off because when it’s cold, you run faster. about a few miles in, the wind was going crazy and rain was pounding the leafs, i thought about turning around. instead, i put on my ‘water resistant’ headphones as i thought it would give me something to think about instead of being scared. stupid thoughts like if i slip and fall, no one would know and they would think me as a fool to run in such conditions. meanwhile, the music really took the fear and loneliness away. normally, i don’t listen to music when i am running in nature but sometimes the music is just a welcoming comfort blanket. By mid way through the course that i have run over 50 times, i am really enjoying the entire experience on a new level. i come to be comfortable in my normally uncomfort zone. there is an intensity to it with the howling winds and bitter cold rain drops. it’s always that initial fear that prevents us from doing ‘crazy’ thing because once you walk far enough into that uncomfort zone, you know there is no turning back. not sure what this has to do be becoming an obsession but somehow through all the running events i’ve done in the past year under ‘challenging’ conditions, have made me think that i plan my life around the next time i am in the woods. whether it’s running or taking the RV somewhere, it is to embrace sometime i lost living in the city.