since she is going to be reading this at this some point, i have to refrain myself to some degree. anyway, an far away friend came to visit me a few weeks ago and i was slightly surprise that she would try from LA to SF to hang out for less than 48 hours! still, i welcome her company because one, i had no plans for the weekend and more importantly, i was very curious how much she as transformed since i last saw over a few years ago. i had been following her updates on FB and although i know all the superficial level stuff, nothing replaces a face to face conversation over good food and decent drinks. we both connected on our difficult childhood that made us the semi awesome people that we are today. yet i began to feel that we started diverging as our conversations became deeper. I couldn’t quite pinpoint it and only in hindsight do i think this way. to be honest, i’ve been falling into this pattern quite often with the few and far in between online dates that i have been on. it’s like it’s really easy to connect to people on a few deep issues and then i begin to wonder, which issues really manner when the dots no longer connect. although her physical transformation was the most obvious, i am curious to see how her mental/spiritual transformation plays out in less obvious ways. No doubt she has a new found confidence that comes with that sort of transformation but i think there is much more to it. I think of my own growth and it’s really hard to gauge the scale of ‘change’ of being when we experience growth within our own skin. I don’t feel like i share much of my own development to most people and once in a long while i will get an external validation that i am doing the ‘right’ thing. yes, even this late into adulthood, i still feel insecure about the seemingly ‘right’ path that i have taken.