i recently reopen my fb account and blog again. i wanted to take a hiatus from FB to see how it went and it was as i expected, i didn’t miss the mostly noise talk. i ended resigning up for the purpose of logging in easier on other websites and that some my interests now mostly just FB pages to communicate. so, even if i didn’t care for noise of the network, the system still got me. anyway, more importantly i am going to india and been trying to do some short of the long postcard via the typical channels like FB and my blog. so as i prepare on this unexpected journey, i still ask myself what i ‘want’ out of it. naturally, i am reminding myself that ‘nothing’ will come out of it (the expectation neutralizer mind trick) but the emotional hope plays a chord that you can’t quite ignore. it wants to be some sort of stepping stone into a new chapter. the passing of milestones. the last several milestones were a little more obvious on what that chapter was to bring. this next one, a little less clear for sure. i want to push it towards a certain path that i have been stalling and this trip to india would somehow help that direction. in hindsight, i am going to tell myself that i was just using visualization of manifest destiny mind trick.
the actual preparation of physical matter took a more earnest pace this week. after patiently for my visa to arrive in the mail and beginning to freak out that i wasn’t going to get it in time. That duration of time began to plants seeds that i may not have to go to india because of some administrative malfunction. yes, there was definitely a part of me that didn’t want to go. the work and my daughter, oh, i will miss thee so. but i need to get away from both to love it even more! so, once i got verbal confirmation that was visa was approved, that cheap trick lost all weigh and the momentum of excitement propel my planning activities. it’s so hard to ‘plan’ for a month of travel. most of my travel plans are straight up dry cut but this time, well, i am leaving a lot up in the area so that serendipity can show it’s curvy ass. the allure of spontaneous serendipity is intoxicating even for the season traveller. i think it’s pleases the soul when you let go and listen to your senses to guide you.